“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you go; they merely determine where you start.” 

— Nido Qubein

Do you ever get the jitters when you think about getting therapy? You are not alone. Many people feel afraid to start the process. And quite understandably so. It takes courage and self-awareness to recognize that you need guidance and help. 

Even though it is a professional that you are about to see, it would still mean that you have to talk about really sensitive issues– and more than that, to work on these issues with them so intimately. 

For most people, it is something that they have never done– expressing their deepest thoughts and unpacking their emotions in front of someone else. 

However, it becomes somewhat conceivable to do so once you know what you can expect in your first therapy session and that the therapist is specifically trained to do so. It is rightly said that the first step is the hardest to take. Once planted, the rest is an easy feat without having to look back. The journey of growth and self-discovery becomes rewarding with each step.

But before everything else, you must know how to choose your therapist. Some pointers to keep in mind while doing your research are these:

• Affiliations and Qualifications
• Academic background
• Experience 
• Cost per session
• Areas of specialization
• Their rules or protocols for therapy 

Once this initial phase is dealt with on your part, the next step would be contacting the therapist. Remind yourself why you seek professional help in the first place. Think of how important it is for you to enhance your quality of life. If you can think of what you want to achieve in the long run and what your goals or purpose in life are, it will only help the therapeutic process. Even if you cannot think of them, it is perfectly fine. Your therapist will help you figure that out. 

Your First Session 

At the beginning of the session, it should be expected from that therapist that they inform you about therapeutic consent, about confidentiality and also convey to you about their non-judgemental approach replete with unconditional positive regard. 

The first session usually requires that you and your therapist get to know each other and work upon establishing a rapport. For that, they will require some of your basic details like whether you’ve been to a therapist before, if you have any medical issues or have had them in the past, about your family’s medical history, and of course the symptoms that you currently have. It isn’t necessary for you to have textbook symptoms for seeking therapy. Wanting to build a better relationship with yourself, your family or significant others by gaining better insight into your thinking and behaving patterns is also a beautiful incentive.

In case you’ve attended therapy before, your new therapist will want to understand what worked for you and what did not so that the current therapeutic process can start on the right foot. 

It may be very casual initially and as you gain confidence in the therapeutic relationship, you may begin to open up about crucial and sensitive issues. It is also alright for you to jump right into what is troubling you. Establishing your needs and expectations is the one aspect that will propel the therapeutic process further. 

Most therapists will exude optimism and encourage you to look forward to the process. They will also help you recognize your goals and priorities so that they can be worked upon in the coming sessions based on your preference. The initial phase is usually dedicated to understanding how you think and behave, recognizing your triggers and patterns, and determining what therapeutic technique will work best for you. 

Since it is a collaborative process, you may be given some homework so that your micro-goals are being met and your broader vision for yourself is being fed well. The frequency, nature and intensity of this homework will depend upon your therapist’s appraisal of your symptoms or condition. They will definitely not burden you with something that you are unwilling to do and even if you aren’t able to follow through on the tasks, they will want to understand what didn’t work for you and why not. Either way, they will only gain more insight into how you think and behave. 

It is important to understand that there is no one-session cure or quick fix for any mental health condition or issue. Everything takes time and commitment. If you feel willing to deep dive into the process that will no doubt help you be a better version of yourself, only then can you do justice to the whole process. Your therapist will assist, guide and facilitate your growth and wellness journey but they cannot walk the path for you. Think of them as the voice of reason that will resound from within you once you attain self-awareness (or what we call meta-cognition) while you continue to live your life and are faced with challenges. 

Remember, any step taken in the right direction is the only step that matters. 

“ ‘Psychotherapy is a cyclical process from isolation into relationship.’ It is cyclical because the patient, in terror of existential isolation, relates deeply and meaningfully to the therapist and then, strengthened by this encounter, is led back again to a confrontation with existential isolation.”

–Yalom